A Pregnant Courtesan for the Rake Read online

  Finally, she spoke again. ‘But what of you, Oliver?’ Her tone was defensive. ‘I have said all there is to say about me.’

  He doubted that. ‘There is little to say about me.’

  She smiled, but he still felt she’d gone back into hiding. ‘Surely you do not expect me to believe that.’

  ‘It is true. I’m a simple man with simple tastes.’ He lifted his wineglass, filled with fine, expensive wine, in an ironic salute.

  ‘Come now, Lord Oliver.’ She wagged a finger at him.

  He frowned. ‘I am not Lord Oliver.’

  Her brow furrowed. ‘But you said your father was a marquess.’

  ‘He is, but I have no honorific.’ He was admitting himself to be a bastard.

  Understanding dawned on her features. Understanding. Not distaste.

  He went on. ‘My father was not married to my Indian mother, as you have no doubt surmised.’ He was a bastard son—his father’s only son. ‘But he brought me with him to England when he assumed the title.’

  His mother had been an Indian bibi, a mistress. A prostitute. The love of his father’s life, his father had often said. But his father left her behind when he unexpectedly inherited the title, something his British wife had insisted upon. His wife had also promised to raise Oliver as if he were her own son—a promise she broke as soon as she could.

  ‘Did you ever see your mother again?’ she asked.

  ‘No.’ He poured himself more wine. ‘She died.’

  Oliver’s mother died shortly after he left India. She died before the ship Oliver sailed on even reached England. His stepmother told him she’d lost her life giving birth to another of his father’s bastards. So he’d believed he’d lost a mother and a brother or sister.

  It wasn’t until he was a young man that his father told him that story was not true. His father had to show him the letter he’d received from India for Oliver to believe him. His mother had died, but from a fever—or perhaps from a broken heart.

  Cecilia’s face filled with sympathy. ‘I am so sorry! How very sad for you.’

  He took a gulp of wine. ‘It was long ago.’

  She had not commented on him being a bastard. She’d hardly blinked at that information. He was not sure why he’d even told her. He never spoke about that. Or about his mother.

  He had the illusion that they were old friends who knew each other well and could trust each other. As he knew and trusted Frederick, Jacob...and Nicholas, wherever Nicholas might be. Not dead. He’d never believe Nicholas was dead. The fourth founding member of the gentlemen’s club had simply disappeared from Vitium et Virtus one night six years ago, leaving only a pool of blood in the alley and his signet ring.

  ‘I still miss my family.’ Her voice turned low. ‘Even though—’ She stopped abruptly and stabbed at her meat. ‘Never mind. It is foolish to wish for what one can never have.’

  ‘I could not agree more.’ He lifted his glass as if in a toast.

  He turned the conversation to something less emotional for them both—the sights they had seen that day, their favourites and least liked.

  Pretty soon the dessert was served, profiteroles and éclairs and finally coffee and liqueur.

  When they left the restaurant, the shops were still open. To walk off the sumptuous dinner they strolled under the galleries and through the gardens. The Palais-Royal was filled with people and the shops were busy.

  Oliver was accustomed to giving gifts to ladies whose company he enjoyed and all the ladies he knew received his gifts eagerly. He wanted something to commemorate this day, this companionship that had been unlike any other he’d experienced.

  When they came upon a jewellery shop, he stopped. ‘Let us go in.’

  She accepted the idea impassively and he was surprised. Most ladies would surmise they were about to receive a gift.

  They gazed at necklaces and bracelets with diamonds, emeralds, rubies and garnets, but he could not discern any special interest on her part.

  ‘Beautiful, are they not?’ he tried, hoping she would give him a clue as to what she might like.

  ‘Oh, yes,’ she agreed dutifully. ‘Quite beautiful.’

  He pointed out several other pieces, but she showed less interest than she had gazing at the paintings in the Louvre or at the stained-glass windows of Notre Dame.

  Finally, he faced her. ‘Do you not realise, Cecilia, that I wish to buy you a gift? I am trying to discover what you would like.’

  ‘A gift?’ Her voice turned wary. ‘Whatever for?’

  ‘To commemorate our day together.’ So she might remember him as he would remember her.

  She stepped back. ‘And what will you desire in return?’

  He was startled. ‘In return? Why, nothing. It is a gift.’

  Her eyes narrowed as if she did not believe him.

  ‘Heed me.’ He took a chance at touching her arm. ‘This has been a most special day. You’ve shown me sights I would not have seen nor would have appreciated had I been on my own today.’

  He probably would have slept half the day and made his way to one of the dancing halls or casinos at night. In her company, he’d lost any interest in either.

  One of the glass cases displayed gold lockets and other less expensive pieces.

  He pointed to a necklace consisting of a single pearl on a long gold chain. ‘Let me buy you a token, then? In thanks for this day?’

  She still looked leery, but she said, ‘Very well.’

  He caught the attention of a clerk and purchased the necklace with the coin in his purse. As the clerk opened the glass case to remove the necklace, he turned to her. ‘Earrings to match?’

  The corner of her lovely mouth quivered as if she was trying not to smile. ‘No. Do not say more or I will change my mind.’

  No woman of his acquaintance would threaten to refuse a gift, especially such an inconsequential one. It was even less of a gift he might bring to Jacob’s sister or her young daughter.

  Nothing about this fascinating lady was like other women he knew.

  * * *

  Cecilia glanced into Oliver’s hazel eyes, so unexpected paired with his darker skin, but so captivating she had to glance away again. He placed the gold chain around her neck, her skin tingling where his fingers touched as he worked the clasp. Stubble shadowed his cheeks, and his scent filled her nostrils. His face was so close she could feel the warmth of his breath.

  She knew this feeling, this attraction that made her want to run her hands over his stubble-roughened chin or plunge her fingers into his hair. She’d once felt a similar attraction to her husband as she felt now. This carnal aching inside her.

  She’d forgotten that erotic sensation, but she had not forgotten that just because a man attracted her like a moth to a flame did not mean he was decent or honourable. It did not mean he would not change from loving to...hurtful.

  ‘Thank you for the gift,’ she managed.

  ‘My pleasure.’ His voice turned low.

  He finished fastening the necklace and put an inch more space between them, enough that she could see his smile, which had its own power over her.

  ‘It looks fine,’ he said. ‘In fact, against your skin, it is even more pleasing than against the black velvet of the glass case.’

  As compliments went this was a mild one. Did he know that a more flowery compliment would have driven her away even faster than an expensive gift would have done? Was he that clever to know precisely how to chip away at her defences?

  For long moments during this day she had been able to believe he was just as he seemed—gentlemanly, kind, generous—but every once in a while her guard flew up again. Like when he asked about her husband. Like when he wanted to buy her jewels. Somehow, even in those moments, he managed to find a way around the wall
s she erected to keep from ever being at the mercy of a man again.

  They left the shop and strolled out to the gardens, where it seemed there were many gentlemen and ladies engaged in flirtations. That only made her worry again. Was he merely charming her or was he what he seemed to be?

  ‘Do you know what I would like to do now?’ he asked.

  Some wariness crept in. ‘What?’

  ‘I would like to walk along the Seine like early this morning. There is still an hour or so before the sun sets. I watched it rise there; it would be nice to see it set.’

  What man desired walking? Duncan had once seemed to enjoy the strolls they took away from prying eyes when he was trying to ingratiate himself with her, but after she married him, he wanted nothing to do with walking. Just bedding.

  But, then, that was all she’d wanted at first, too.

  ‘I should go home.’ Best she part from him while she could still think and before he did something to burst the illusion that he was a perfect gentleman.

  They left the Palais-Royal.

  ‘I will escort you home, then,’ Oliver said.

  ‘It is not necessary.’ She did not want him to know that she lived in a small room near the theatres, casinos, gentlemen’s clubs and maisons closes or houses of prostitution.

  He frowned. ‘I would feel remiss to merely send you on your way alone.’

  ‘I was alone when you met me,’ she reminded him.

  ‘Still, I would not forgive myself if any harm came to you.’

  She made a face. ‘How would you know? You leave tomorrow. We will never see each other again.’ Her throat tightened at her words and she feared tears would sting her eyes.

  He gave her an imploring look. ‘All the more reason not to say goodbye so soon. Stay with me to watch the sunset.’

  Those captivating eyes seemed to pull her in.

  What harm would it do? Besides, she wanted to stay with him; she wanted to keep this lovely illusion that such a kind, handsome, charming man existed, a man who wanted nothing from her but her company.

  ‘Very well,’ she said. ‘I will stay with you to watch the sunset.’

  They walked through the Paris streets to the stairs leading to the Seine. There were walkways on both sides of the river with other couples strolling, street vendors plying their wares, other men and women hurrying to and fro.

  ‘I am glad to walk off my meal.’ He patted his stomach.

  ‘It was delicious.’ The best meal she’d had since Brussels three years ago when Duncan had taken her to fine restaurants.

  Then Duncan received the letter from her father saying he would never provide her dowry or any money at all. After that everything changed.

  But it had not changed in a day. Certainly not in an evening. So, perhaps she could pretend Oliver could be trusted to be a gentleman for one evening.

  As the sun dropped lower in the sky, the evening took on a magical quality.

  Oliver seemed to catch the magic as well. ‘I had been told of the beauty of Paris, but I confess I did not believe in it...’ He paused and looked down at her. ‘Until this day.’

  She fingered the pearl that nestled almost between her breasts. ‘You have more than paid me back.’

  He touched her arm and made her face him. ‘This was not a gift for recompense, but for remembrance.’

  As if she would be able to forget him. A man who behaved as a friend and stirred her like a lover.

  They resumed their stroll. ‘I have been here almost three years and I cannot tire of its beauty.’

  The conversation that had come so easily to them when they were sharing the sights lost its ease. There was too much she wished to conceal. Let him think she was an English lady living on a small income here in Paris. Sometimes she felt that was exactly what she was.

  She did not fit into this Parisian world any better than he must fit into the British aristocracy. Perhaps that was why she was so drawn to him.

  ‘You told me earlier a little of India, but do you remember what it looked like?’ she asked, truly wanting to know about the distant foreign land that was in his blood. ‘I have read it also is a beautiful place.’

  He took several steps before answering. ‘I remember lush gardens filled with fragrant flowers and pools of water. My mother’s house was filled with colour, woven carpets, fragrant sandalwood, and soft cushions instead of chairs. My father’s house, on the other hand, was typically English. He wore his jama when with my mother, but on the other side, he dressed like he’d come from his tailor on Bond Street.’

  ‘What is a jama?’ she asked.

  He laughed. ‘A bit like a dress, actually. I wore a jama as well. They were cooler than British clothes.’

  She threaded her arm through his and rested her head against his shoulder. All the wine they’d consumed made her languorous—and loosened her control. ‘Tell me something else about India.’

  ‘I remember the streets of Calcutta being crowded and noisy and alternately perfumed and putrid.’ He paused. ‘I remember elephants and camels and scantily dressed men charming snakes.’

  ‘Snakes.’ She shuddered.

  He went on talking about spices and tigers and Hindu gods. His voice lulled her and her eyes grew heavy. It was so comfortable to hold his arm, to lean against him.

  To not be alone.

  He stopped and put his arm around her. ‘You are falling asleep. Time to take you to your home.’

  Leave him? She should never have agreed to walk along the river with him. The alchemy of the setting sun turned the sky into yellows and oranges, making the water appear to sparkle with gold. She felt its riches and dreaded going back to the emotional deprivation that was her life.

  ‘Not to my home,’ she murmured.

  ‘Where to then?’ His voice vibrated inside her.

  ‘To your hotel.’

  Cecilia knew precisely what she was saying to him. What she was offering. She wanted to pretend a little longer. She wanted everything that she thought she’d have with her husband, even if for only a night.

  ‘Are you certain?’ he asked. ‘This is not the wine speaking?’

  The wine had given her courage. ‘I do not want our night to end, Oliver. I want all it can offer us.’

  She did not want the magic to end.

  Chapter Three

  They crossed the Place Louis XV, which had been called the Place de la Concorde after the Revolution, and walked to Rue Saint-Honoré to where Oliver’s hotel, Le Meurice, was located. A doorman opened the huge wrought-iron door for them and the attendant in the hall greeted Oliver by name. Other guests passed them without comment.

  In London, a gentleman would have had to sneak a woman up to his room or risk being asked to leave the hotel. In Paris, no one took any notice.

  Oliver led Cecilia up the three flights of stairs to his room. It was a comfortable space with a sitting area and a separate bedroom and dressing room. His valet stayed in a room next door and would come only if Oliver summoned him.

  Oliver opened the door and stepped aside for Cecilia to enter. She walked to the centre of the room and stood as if uncertain she wanted to be there.

  He closed the door and removed his hat and gloves. ‘Are you wishing I had walked you home instead?’

  She turned to him, looking surprised.

  He softened his voice. ‘It is not too late, Cecilia. I will take you home if that is what you desire.’

  She pulled off her own gloves and removed her bonnet. ‘I do not desire you to take me home.’

  He stepped forward to take her shawl. His fingers skimmed her determinedly squared shoulders.

  ‘Then tell me why you suddenly seem as taut as a bowstring.’

  ‘Do I?’ She attempted a smile, which disappeared as
quickly. ‘I was remembering something...unpleasant.’

  He put his arm around her and guided her to the sofa. ‘Come sit and do not think of unpleasant things. I will pour us some champagne.’

  He was filled with desire for her, which had surged when she proposed coming to his hotel. He’d been on fire ever since. But she was different from other women he’d pursued. She was not a conquest; he liked her too much.

  She was mysterious and sad, but strong, as well. He wanted to know why. He wanted to know everything, so he could make her smile again.

  She gazed around while he opened and poured the champagne. ‘This is a lovely room.’

  He recognised, after this whole day, that she relied on typical society conversation when her guard was up. He knew many women who knew of no other kind of conversation, no matter what.

  How was he to put her at ease?

  He handed her the glass of champagne. ‘It looks remarkably like a room in the Clarendon Hotel on Bond Street, but then, Le Meurice is known to cater to British visitors.’

  ‘It is quite comfortable.’

  Oliver felt as if he was losing her.

  He sat next to her on the sofa. ‘Cecilia, nothing will happen here that you do not want. I have enjoyed this day with you. I will not spoil it now.’

  She smiled wanly. ‘You must think me very absurd. To offer myself so blatantly, then to act like the silliest ninnyhammer.’

  He met her gaze. ‘Explain it to me.’

  She glanced away and her breathing accelerated. ‘I—I do not frequent the hotel rooms of gentlemen by habit.’

  He was glad of that, even though he could not say he did not occasionally entertain women in hotel rooms.

  She finished her glass of champagne, and he refilled it.

  Then he put his hand on top of hers. ‘You have promised nothing by coming here, except to spend time with me.’

  She gazed at him sceptically.

  He smiled. ‘Nothing.’

  Her eyes softened. ‘May I truly believe you?’

  He looked her in the eye again. ‘I do not lie. I abhor lies.’